Getting Down to the "Nitty Gritty": Let's talk about {Bullying}

       

       There's really nothing new about the fact that  bullying is still just as prevalent, if not worse, as it's ever been.
        Let's just paint a picture of a bullying circumstance...

The normal response: Two kids are out on the playground. One is making fun of the other child and maybe even pushing or hurting the child, while the other child is sheepishly taking the torture. We want our kids to "speak up" if we see this going on, and we want them to go tell someone.

The more real response: One teenager is on their twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media account saying horrible things about or to the other person. They will either tag them in the post, message them privately so that no one else knows what they are saying, or they will make a vague status saying something mean and the other teenager knows they are referring to them.

       Cyberbullying is very real. Social media outlets have made bullying so much easier. A person that would normally talk behind someone's back instead of saying anything directly to the person, can now hop online and bully who ever they wish without having to see them. It gives them a false sense of security and allows bullying to occur easier. We have made sure our children understand to go tell someone if they are physically being bullied, but we need to find a way to prepare our children on how to deal with cyberbullying (more on the psychological side). Our children need to understand that those who bully this way, are ultimately the insecure ones who need help. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt those who are being bullied any less. If you or someone you know are being cyberbullied, here are a few tips on how to deal with it thanks to wiki how:

1. Save Every Message:
    You may want to forget about those terrible messages and words quickly, but it's best if you can save the messages. It could help you out later when you do go and tell an adult about being bullied. So take a quick screen shot, hit save, or print out the messages.

2. Try not to participate:
     It may be the hardest thing you do. The bully wants you to get upset and reply. That's how they get their satisfaction. If you can completely ignore them, they may quit bothering you altogether. If you do feel that you need to reply, just remember, they can save and copy every response you make as well. Do not say anything you would regret for anyone else to see, because you never know who might read it.

3. Identify the person:
    If they are hiding behind an unfamiliar screen name or picture, do a little research. Search your email, social media, etc. and see if you can find out who the person is. If you are totally unsuccessful, get an adult involved. They may be able to search the IP address to see who is the bully.

4. Approach the bully:
    If you know the person, approach them. When they are no longer behind their veil of the computer, their whole demeanor may change. If you stay calm and attempt to talk to them about the issue, it may deter them  from continuing to bully.

5. If it's severe, press charges: {I'm going to copy this directly from WikiHow because I couldn't say it better myself}
   "Bullying of any kind is illegal in most states. After letting a parent into the situation, allow them to contact the bully's parents (if the school has not already done this). If you've suffered severely from this, or experienced humiliation or violent threats/acts, this girl/boy can be suspended, expelled, or even arrested, depending on how severe they have acted towards you."
    

With this post, I truly hope it can help some of you out there that are being cyberbullied. No form of bullying is ever ok. I feel cyberbullying needs to be taken a little more seriously. It may not be a physical form of bullying, but the permanent psychological damage it could cause to a child is terrible. If you know some one who is bullying or has been bullied of any form, SPEAK UP. It truly can save lives.

Here's a few other resources that could help you:
The BULLY Project
StopBullying.gov
KidPower.org

Get out, unplug, and enjoy your weekend!

        I'm sitting here on a Saturday morning with 'Captian' Jake and the Neverland Pirates on the TV, my little man cuddling me on my left, and my sweet pea napping in her bouncy chair. A few years ago, I would have thought this was a total waste of a perfectly good Saturday. Now, I realize this is a perfect Saturday.
       For the longest time, I thought Saturdays were meant for catching up on all the work you couldn't get completed during the week. My how things change. Every Friday evening, I'll ask Paul the same question, "Do we have to be anywhere in the morning?". As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I begin praying the answer is NO. I'm begging to learn that the weekend should be meant for relaxation. We all work hard during the week, whether it's working at the office or just being a mother {In my opinion, that's one of the most challenging jobs a woman can do.}. We should maximize our weekends, but maximize our relaxation techniques- not by working even harder. I'm not going to lie, and let you think I won't be doing anything this weekend (or any weekend). Trust me, the essentials will still be done (dishes, laundry, picking up, etc,), but I will make sure I spend plenty of time with my family and friends.
        Life should be a never ending learning experience, and I am learning to simply love and enjoying other's company. So, I suggest you all do the same. Housework can wait {and trust me, it will still be there waiting for you}, unplug from technology, and go do something with your friends or family today. I hope you have a fun-filled weekend!

Getting down to the "Nitty Gritty": Let's talk about PostpartumDepression

         

           I feel this is an important topic that needs more discussing. In my personal experience, it can be hard to realize you may actually be suffering from postpartum depression. Many new moms find themselves not feeling as amazing as they think they should feel right after having their sweet baby. After all, people call babies "a bundle of joy." So why don't you feel the same about it? You know you love this child and would do anything for your baby, but you may feel your world is crashing in on you. Trust me, I know. It's call the "baby blues" which can develop into postpartum depression (ppd). There really isn't much you can do to prevent the "baby blues" or ppd, but the most important thing you can do is get a jump start on noticing the symptoms and getting the help you need. You should also know that you should not feel ashamed if you have any of the symptoms. If you think you could be dealing with ppd, contact either your OBGYN or primary care doctor.
         There is a difference between the "baby blues" and postpartum depression. I did a little research to familiarize myself with the signs and symptoms of both. The Mayo Clinic explains that the "baby blues" should only last a few days up to two weeks. The symptoms of the "baby blues" are:

Mood swings

Anxiety

Sadness

Irritability

Crying

Decreased concentration

Trouble sleeping

All the symptoms are very common, and most women will blame it all on being a new mother. Which really if you breakdown the symptoms, that does seem like a logical explanation. {I mean seriously, "trouble sleeping?!"... As a new mom, you probably aren't sleeping because you have a newborn.} THE KEY to all this is to keep evaluating yourself and see if you are still experiencing these symptoms longer than two weeks. If you are, you may have postpartum depression. You need to speak to a doctor about any concerns you may have as soon as you can, because you do not want it to go untreated and get out of hand. The symptoms of ppd are:

Loss of appetite

Insomnia

Intense irritability and anger

Overwhelming fatigue

Loss of interest in sex

Lack of joy in life

Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy

Severe mood swings

Difficulty bonding with your baby

Withdrawal from family and friends

Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Again, I cannot reiterate it enough, if you have any of these symptoms, you need to contact your doctor about your concerns. I have dealt with this issue with both of my children. It took me longer the 1st time around to realize my anxiety levels, mood swings, and fatigue were not just simply due to a lack of sleep and being new mom. I was lucky enough that approximately two months after my first baby was born, I had to a check up with my primary care doctor. I talked to her about how I was feeling, and she explained that it was not just due to the baby, but that it was postpartum depression. I remember thinking how I should have mentioned it to someone earlier, and I wouldn't have been suffering so long. With my second baby, I was able to recognize the symptoms much sooner, and was able to get back on track quicker.

         One thing I did both times, was finding something that I loved doing before having a baby, and try to get back into it. Whether it's reading, blogging, cooking, or crafting... find a way to make yourself have a little "you time." I would either have my husband or family watch the baby for a little while, and dive into a fun hobby for while they had the baby. It really helped me each time. I love all those hobbies I mentioned above, so I would pick just one to work on at a time. Recently, I've been trying to get back into my blogging {obviously}, and my crafting. My latest creation are some coasters I made for my dad's new bar he built for his "man cave." I had such a blast making them, and my spirits were lifted to see them turn out so well. Since they turned out so great, I made sure I added them to my Etsy shop. You can actually give us an idea about a design you like, and we will try to match it up for you. Here's a link to our shop if you would like to check it out: https://www.etsy.com/shop/GeekedOutCrafts

All this being said, I am serious about wanting new moms to realize if you might be suffering from ppd. If you are waiting to get help because you feel bad about not feeling so glamorized by your new baby, do not make that your excuse. It is not worth suffering when you can simply get help. You doctor can prescribe you a medicine to help. After you have sought out help, you can also try the "hobby" idea I mentioned about to see if that can help lift your spirits some. You should be able to enjoy this time in your life, not feeling constant dread. I'm hopeful this post may help some moms out there realize they could be actually dealing with postpartum depression.

{6 Tips} on How to get your toddler to eat

        Let me start with this... My nearly 3 year old is one of the most difficult children that I have ever met when it comes to eating. I hate to use the term "picky" in reference to him. He will usually try just about anything once. Plus, there are days he eats me nearly out of house and home. Then, there are days I'm fairly certain he has only eaten like 3 crackers and drink his "food" in cup form (aka milk).  I have a previous post about this because it's been the biggest challenge with him since he's began eating. I am always struggling trying to find a way to get him to eat. I've read numerous articles about how to get a toddler to eat food. Here's the best things I have found work for him....

1. Offer Choices
As we do, children also "eat with their eyes." If their plate does not look appetizing even to you, then more than likely they will not want to eat it. The best "fix" for this, give them a few things to chose to eat. The healthier the options, the better. I've use little 6 count muffin tin several times and given Braeden about 3-4 different things to eat. I, also, try to make sure most of his food options have mobility. If he can grab-and-go with his food he will usually eat a little more. {Note: Too many options may be overwhelming. I'd suggest only 4 options at the most.}

                                           Image from: wedishnutrition.wordpress.com

2. Find Their Favorites
If it seems like you are at your wits end with finding something your toddler will eat, try the "choices tip from #1" and see if you can find a few things they tend to lean towards. I always try to offer healthy options, but some of my sons favorite things to eat are not always so healthy. His favorite thing to eat is chicken, more specifically, chicken nuggets. However, I have given him turkey, carrots, celery, and broccoli so much they are some of his favorite things to eat too. If you find 1 or 2 things you child seems to gravitate toward, make sure that is included with the food options you offer; then, offer a "plus 1" new item. The key is for them so see things they like, and then venture and try some of the new things you have put there for them.

3. Find Meals You Can Fix
Create meals the whole family can eat together using some of their favorite foods. Example: My son loves chicken, and he seems to like broccoli pretty well. So, the other night, we all had baked chicken with broccoli for dinner. When your child sees you eating the same food they are eating, it can reassure that "if it's good enough for you,  then, it's good enough for them." Hopefully, this will prompt them to try more the food you are eating. Plus, it helps them learn to eat around normal meal times.

4. Show them Food can be Fun
-Become creative with their food. Cut sandwiches into interesting and familiar shapes. Point it out to them that their sandwich is shaped like Mickey Mouse or a star. It's easy to take almost any cookie cutter and apply it to their food.
-Let them get involved with making their food. Obviously, keep them safe. However, they love to eat the food they have helped prepare. Sometimes, just letting Braeden watch me fix the food is enough for him to feel "involved."
-Use interesting plates or containers to hold their food. Find them a special plate or table for them to use. Make their plate a big deal to them so they get excited to eat with it.

Image from: sharemyworld.org

5. Do Not Force It
The last thing you want to do is make this such a traumatic issue that your child resents eating. They could grow to hate meal times and make their eating issue a problem. I do occasionally find myself asking him to eat a few more bites before he can go play. However, I do pay attention so see if he is really interested in eating at that particular time. If he seems to not really be hungry, forcing him to eat more food or finish his plate can cause negative eating habits in the future. It can lead to obesity if they grow up thinking the must always finish their plate. Additionally, there could be an underlying reason they do not want to eat their food. It could be a texture issue, and if you force them to keep eating, it could lead to them vomiting. {And no one wants to deal with vomit!}

6. Keep it Accessible
My little man is constantly on the go. Trying to stop him to make him eat is nearly impossible, and usually just results in him refusing to eat. The best thing I have found to do is: Let him know it is time to eat, Find a place that he can reach his food easily, and Leave it there for only about 1-2 hours. I always inform him when its lunch time or dinner time. Then, I set his food somewhere he can reach it. Usually, I place it on a table that is his level or on a couch cushion. Then, I will leave it there for him to 'grab-n-go.' Sometimes, I even find that turning on his favorite cartoon show while he is eating will help distract him while he's eating, and it usually results in him eating more than usual.


I truly hope some of these tips really do help you. I know first hand just how stressful it can be having a toddler that seems to never really eat (or eat like you would like them to). As long as their weight is not in a concerning percentile {and trust me the Dr. will let you know it if is}, try these tips and just keep plugging along. Toddlers will typically grow out of this problem.  The fact that you are reading this article about how to get your toddler to eat better, means you are a good mother. Don't let people make you feel inadequate since your toddler does not eat as much as they feel they should. Just as most people say, it does get better.

Coconut Oil... Is it worth the hype?

       Image From: news.health.com

 

 

     I've got to admit, normally, when I see people going crazy about a product, I usually distance myself because I'm not one to get sucked in. Well, I was at the store and saw in the organic section that the coconut oil was on sale. I bought the virgin coconut oil that's unrefined and cold pressed. It was about $7. My husband jokingly said, "for this price, this stuff better be amazing." When I got home, I started my research about uses for coconut oil. I found so many things, some even a little outlandish. The few things I have used it for, it has really worked well. I'm honestly impressed.

 Makeup Remover and Face Wash

       The first use I read about was makeup remover and face wash. Since my normal routine is not the greatest (one of Braeden's baby wipes), I decided I'd give this a try. I want to first say, If you are at allergic to coconuts, do not try coconut oil. The other note, when you apply the coconut to your face, make sure you are careful to keep it out of your eyes. I simply grab a small spoon and scoop out maybe a dime sized amount. I apply to to my face, specifically where my eye makeup is. I take a damp wash cloth and wipe off my face. It totally removes all traces of makeup and leaves my face feeling completely moisturized. I've even noticed that it seems to help my acne heal quicker, as well. If you find that you do not like the way it feels on your face once you've wipe it off, you can always use some mild face soap to wash it completely off.

Lip Moisturizer and Scrub

       For some reason, this fall my lips have been overly chapped. I've been using the coconut oil as a lip moisturizer. It really does work amazing, and tastes awesome too. I haven't tired it yet, but if you mix 1 tablespoon of coconut oil with 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, you have a  homemade exfoliating  lip scrub.
        I have actually formulated a lip balm using coconut oil and cocoa butter. I use all natural and organic coconut oil to make it. My husband swears it is the best chap stick he has ever used. Here's a link to my etsy shop if you are interested in buying some to try for yourself. https://www.etsy.com/listing/224032124/all-natural-lip-balm-vanilla-mint?ref=shop_home_active_9

Lotion and Body Butter

       Along the same lines, since I'm currently pregnant, I've noticed my skin seems to be more dry right now. I rub a little on my hands, arms, elbows and legs to keep them soft and moist. It feels wonderful on my skin, and smells great too. It's honestly a win win. I have also been using it on my stomach to  prevent stretch marks (I won't know how well it works for that for about 5 more months). **{Update: Since having my baby in April, I have been using the coconut oil on my stretch marks... I do feel like it is helping them diminish.} Similarly, I have also had some problems lately with chaffing on my legs (probably due to pregnancy hormones and weight gain). If you rub a little on the affected areas, not only does it help keep the area from becoming further chaffed or chapped, but it also helps heal the area because of its antibacterial and anti fungal properties.
         I have acutally created a whipped body butter using coconut oil and cocoa butter. It is a wonderful moisturizer for dry skin. It has gotten me though this winter pregnancy. My father-in-law thinks it's the best lotion he has ever used. I do have it for sale in my shop. Below is the link. https://www.etsy.com/listing/218201076/all-natural-body-butter?ref=shop_home_feat_2

Hair Conditioner

      I have tried it as a hair conditioner for my son. I learned the next day, when his hair was still greasy looking, that I should have rewashed his hair to get the excess oils out. However, I did notice that his hair was not nearly as frizzy or tangled as it usually is. Again, the smell of his hair was so much better then it normally is. If you have curly or frizzy hair I would suggest trying a little on your hair as a conditioner, but you may want to make sure you "rinse and repeat" with your shampoo. I did read that some people suggest applying it to your hair an hour or two before you shower so it has time to soften your hair, but your first shampooing with get rid of most of the greasiness.

Healing

       When my daughter was born {yes, I'm no longer pregnant... I had her in April}, she was lip-tied and tongue-tied. I was very lucky that my pediatrician specializes in lip and tongue clipping. He has an "all-natural" technique by using black tea and ice water to numb and heal during the procedure. His instructions for healing the areas were also an "all-natural" approach. He explained that coconut oil is like a Neosporin for the mouth. From what I've read, it's more like a Neosporin for body in general. He said it's totally safe for newborns, and it will help heal the clippings. I loved how he took such an "all-natural" approach not only during the procedure, but also with his healing suggestions. It definitely seemed to heal quicker than my son's clipping did.



       There are so many other uses for coconut oil, it truly is an amazing product. You can cook with it too. I haven't yet. Honestly, if you search it in Pinterest, the results are never ending with the uses for coconut oil. I haven't gotten too adventurous with it just yet,  but what I have used it for, it has been amazing. So next time you're at the store, check it out. If it's not too expensive, grab a jar, and try it out.